You can only break things down into so many graphs before you have to actually put words on the page. The consensus of my writing group is that writing romance is difficult. Maybe the most difficult? When I dug a little deeper the reasons for this difficulty seemed to break down into a couple of categories.finding the right balance of romance for the intended audience, and pacing the romantic moments.
The truth is, there aren’t hard and fast categories in the romance genre, and things get more complicated when we are talking about romantic moments in general fiction and genre work. But generally, if a romantic relationship arc is the primary storyline, or a prominent secondary storyline where the emotional growth arc of a romantic relationship is explored then a book is going to be considered “romance”. If your story has a non-romantic central plot with a secondary romantic plot then it is going to be a Sci-fi romance, or a Mystery romance, etc. If your story has a central plot and secondary plot that are not romantic in nature, but the protagonist is dating or in a relationship where romantic scenes happen on the page then it would likely be considered general fiction or genre fiction.
As to how much physical action is going to play out on the page, that also depends a lot on the story you are telling and what category it sits in.
Nobody be smooching all heavy in a kid lit book, thanks. Young Adult romance is a huge market right now but the focus tends to run more to the emotional side of things. It is likely to fall on the physical scale near Christian Romance and lighter general fiction: kissing, anticipation, then a fade to black moment.
General fiction on the spicier side is going to run steamier and more explicit, descriptions of sexual acts but generally within the context of a character arc or plot interaction. Makes sense within the storyline and traditional relationship trajectory. This last part is key. I’m not saying that there isn’t gratuitous sex in general fiction, but readers are going to expect it to make sense within the plot. If they wanted explicit with no plot they would be looking in a different section of the library.
Romance novels have been around about as long as novels. Formulaic structuring with sex scenes regularly spaced into the plot. The romance/storyline is central and focuses on the emotional journey of the characters. The reader gets a happy ending. The other plot elements are less consequential, as readers are looking for tropes. This genre is also the most read/purchased so plenty of people are seeking this content. Also easiest genre to get published in, especially if there is any substance at all.
Genre romance: Historical romance, space romance, ghost romance…these books tend to have more substance and world building than generic romance. They can also get weird.
Smut: smut in this usage is not considered a derogatory term. Instead it is a category of romance where the explicit sex scenes are prioritized over emotional arcs. Reddit sets the line at “are genitals being named; are sex acts described in detail?” Plot is negotiable.
My recommendation for writing anything is to just go in and write that first draft. It can be as awful or glorious as you like. Plot? Hopefully, but sometimes that comes together in a later draft. First drafts are for dumping out the brain bucket and seeing how it sticks together. But once you have a semblance of events, then it is time to pace them out and see what you have.
Just a quick throwback here to last week, below is a picture of our relationship trajectory. We don’t have to follow it exactly, but keeping it in mind should help with pacing.
So now that we have a diagram and some definitions, how do we write a romantic interaction? As this is a PG rated website, we will go with your standard lead up-interaction-pull away scene.
First-Set the scene. We need enough detail to understand where the choreography is happening so that if Edwin rests his hand on a planter half-way through we aren’t asking” wait where are they that there are planters?”
Edwin led Seraphina along the cobbled path toward the greenhouse. Clouds scuttled across the half moon as raindrops began to find their way onto the fabric of her white linen sundress; Seraphina’s shoe caught between the slate pavers.
So we know that it is night, there is limited light, our girl is about to go wet teeshirt contest on us and suddenly she is in mild distress. Now, there are some little changes we can make to set up the romance to come.
Edwin led Seraphina along the cobbled path toward the secluded greenhouse. Angry clouds scuttled across the half moon as raindrops began to find their way onto the fabric of her white linen sundress; the slate pavers caught Seraphina’s high heel with their jagged teeth.
Sultry clouds scuttled across the half moon as raindrops slipped through the fabric of her white linen sundress; the slate pavers clutched at Seraphina’s sandal. She grasped Edwin’s arm playfully as he bent to free the shoe.
Use Adverbs and adjectives to set the tone you want. Do we want a playful and flirty couple sneaking away from a party or a nervous couple hurrying away from an awkward scene at dinner?
After we set the tone, it is time to raise the tension. We are going to do this by some initial contact, dialogue, and then a roadblock.
As Edwin’s fingers brushed her ankle, Seraphina shivered at his calluses.His hands were broad from years of labor and he might have crushed her delicate bones if the desire struck him.
“You must work so hard to have such a strong grip,” She murmured.
“I do a lot of manual labor.” Edwin freed her shoe but let his hands linger on her ankle for another heartbeat. He stood, shaking off the rain caught in his copper curls.
Seraphina raised her hand to brush a stray drop from his cheek but Edwin caught it and placed it against his heart instead. “Phi, say you’ll kiss me or let me drown here lest I have to live a life empty of your love!”
“Oh Edwin!” Seraphina flushed prettily, standing on her toes, she meant to fulfill his every desire.
CRACK! A bolt of lightening hit the tree next to the greenhouse. Seraphina leapt forward just as Edwin leaned toward her and felt the crunch of his nose against her forehead.
If this is the beginning of a book this could be a great meet-cute gone wrong; this scene as is could be a Moment of Hope and now we are going to pull back and have some distance to work back from. For my purposes this is the final roadblock after we have read two hundred pages of will they won’t they, Seraphina being engaged to a wealthy jerk who happened to be Edwin’s best friend, and now they are running away from the engagement party only to find themselves near death with Edwin bleeding.
“Oh Edwin, maybe it’s a sign?” Seraphina wiped the blood from her forehead. She leaned over to tear a swath from her dress and pressed it to his face.
Edwin flinched at her touch, though it could have been the pain of someone shoving a wad of cloth into his broken nose. “It’s only a sign that we should duck into that greenhouse.”
The two hurried through the iron archway into the old building. Ivy climbed one wall and a few empty potting tables stood like guards against the others. A stone bench, overgrown with moss beckoned to Seraphina. She collapsed, tears replacing the raindrops on her face.
“If only Rupert wasn’t so cruel and only marrying me for father’s race horses! If only you weren’t so kind and manly and good at croquet! Why couldn’t you have been born the son of an earl instead of being a lowly soldier? Oh Edwin, why must the world be so unfair?”
Edwin joined Seraphina on the bench. “So you won’t run away with me after all? Because I’m not rich?”
Serpahina gasped, “That wasn’t what I meant at all! Of course I’m running away with you Edwin! Even if we have to live in a van as we tour the professional croquet circuit! It’s only that I might complain once in a while about all I’m leaving behind.” With that she kissed him, not even minding the blood that mingled with her tears.
Edwin kissed her back, pulling back just enough to wipe the snot from her upper lip—for Seraphina was a very messy crier—before finding her lips with his own once more.
Later, when all was said and done and the two lay on a potting table staring up at the stars that had emerged, Edwin whispered into Seraphina’s hair “Who told you I wasn’t an Earl?”
The trick with writing romance is that the tension is built on two different strains. We have an emotional plot arc and a physical plot arc. You can have physical moments of hope and emotional moments of hope, same with conflicts, epiphanies, roadblocks, etc. Many books will have resolution moments throughout, but never both strains resolving until the end.
The goal is to keep the reader engaged throughout the relationship journey. If Edwin and Seraphina had the same conflict over and over it would get boring really quickly (sure it would be weird to have several lightening storm moments, but substitute it for Seraphina being jealous or Edwin running away to a croquet tournament every time they argued. The third or thirtieth time and the reader is skimming.)
So how do we come up with interesting ways of prolonging the tension? Base everything in character work: skills, abilities, desire, kink, trauma, motivations, every thing should be rooted in the character. Things feel plausible if they are consistent with the character’s past behaviors and actions, and the backstory they have given us on the page.
Now when we finally do reach that moment of emotional and physical resolution it is going to require a nice balance of physical description, dialogue, internal dialogue, and setting. How much of each is up to you as the writer. Keep in mind that the more explicit you are, the less imagination a reader has to use, and therefore—after a point— the more narrow your audience becomes.
When I claimed during writing group that writing sex scenes is like choreographing fight scenes I was mocked for a full two minutes, but I stand by it! Balance action and dialogue; let us know ahead of time about any props that are going to show up; don’t let it drag on too long; when in doubt skip forward to the aftermath.
Writing romance is as much an art and science as any other genre, and the readers are loyal and forgiving.
Happy February everyone! I’ll let you make up your own writing exercise this week as I somehow scheduled our annual Broadway in the Basement fundraiser (which I am catering) for the first weekend of Girl Scout Cookie Booths. I’ll see you back here in March!
Mamasquatch the Writer 
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